The Rule of Thirds

At Third Horizon, we work quite a lot with teams. Teams that want to unpack complex problems together, build a better culture, or level up in some way. 

Quite often over the course of a team retreat or session, I’ll watch the participants become really motivated by the work they’re doing together. I love seeing that! They’re optimistic about the road ahead: yes, there is lots of work to do, but they are committed, and ready to do it. 

I don’t want to dampen the mood, but as we close I often offer a note of (optimistic) caution: changing the culture of a team or an organization is long, hard work. The first step is deciding to do the work. (Check, done.) The next 15,000+ steps are actually doing the work. Some days you can expect to leap forward, others you won’t move at all, and others you’ll stumble backward. (Other days you might even do some sort of loop-the-loop and get turned completely around!) There are ingrained patterns of behavior that can keep you ‘stuck’ or pull you back into the ‘old’ way of doing things. And that’s natural. When we’re stressed or unsure if we’re doing it ‘right,’ we are often pulled to what we know, what feels comfortable and easy. 

In its simplest form, changing a culture requires practicing new ways of doing and being. You practice by making decisions differently, having different conversations, engaging with each other in new ways, or sitting with discomfort or uncertainty in new ways. And creating lasting change requires that you practice those different things over and over and over. And over and over and over after that. The 1st time you might get it right. The 2nd time you might get it right. Maybe the 3rd and 4th you fall flat on your face. While that sort of experience is incredibly common, it can take the most optimistic individual and send them into a spiral of doubt.

Alexi Pappas, an Olympic runner, has a theory she has used in her training (and life in general) she calls the ‘Rule of Thirds’ and it applies to any big goal or change: 1/3rd of the time it will feel great, 1/3rd of the time it will feel ok, and 1/3rd of the time it will feel lousy. So whether you’re trying to build a healthier organizational culture, collaborate with your colleagues in a new way, or show up differently for your team, don’t expect it to feel ‘all good, all the time.’ It will be a mix of good, ok, and straight-up miserable. Not only is that to be expected, it’s actually what you’re aiming for because it means you’re reaching for something worthwhile.

Whatever you do, just keep going. Keep practicing new ways of thinking and doing–and have grace for yourself and others–and the change you’re seeking will unfold.

An image representing the Rule of Thirds through two circles. One represents a whole pie and is labeled “how we think it should feel” and another divided into thirds and is labeled “how it should feel.”